A Modest Proposal

Let's send THIS guy to Arizona.

So There I Was, At KFC...

I had about 40 minutes to kill while I was waiting for my laundry, so I had dinner at the nearest restaurant, which was KFC. I was waiting for the rather confused and garrulous woman in front of me to finish her order. She claimed that kids today, they don't know how to save money. I said, they can't save money, what few jobs there are for them are low paying. She said it was the fault of the president, and I said, well, at least he's gone now.

"Oh, you thought I meant George Bush?"

I'm a sentient being who thinks logically, so, yeah.

She then proceeded to blame Clinton and Obama for the budget deficit.

I countered with some facts, like the fact Clinton left the nation with a projected budget surplus, and that I'm paying less taxes under Obama than I was under Bush.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the young people behind the counter smiling, some holding back laughter.

"Well, they certainly aren't strong leaders, like Reagan!"

I reminded her that the Marines barracks in Lebanon were bombed, and the only response Reagan had was to sell TOW missiles to the terrorists.

Luckily, they handed her her order then.

I remembered that I had forgotten to order a drink with my food. I asked for a soda, and they gave me the "Your money's no good here" gesture.

I got my platter, and there was a double helping of mashed potatoes. Later, one of the young gentlemen behind the counter motioned to me, and gave me two more pieces of chicken.

I waddled out feeling like I had just had Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanks, working people of KFC!

Friendly Tip

Dear Crazy People:

Threaten to kill the people behind "Family Guy" instead. Yeah, I know, they haven't insulted your prophet, but the show sucks even worse than "South Park".

You're welcome.

Dear Jon Stewart...

Please return to being funny and stop being such a sanctimonious douche about the hosts on MSNBC.

That's Bob Somerby's job.

You Have Donated To Haitian Earthquake Relief, Haven't You?

Because if you haven't, here's a helpful list of charities that can offer real help, soon.

I'm not asking you to bankrupt yourself, if you donate the cost of a night out or even just $5, you've helped.

And you will feel better.

And so will they.

Life Keeps Getting In The Way

I had meant to wrap up my review of films I'd seen in 2009 before 2009 was over, but things happened. Unpleasant things. I'm not fond of the place I live in, and from time to time it just gets worse. I'm reminded of John Cooper Clarke's poem "Evidently Chickentown". Christopher Eccleston did a version of Clarke's poem in a Danny Boyle film called "Strumpet", and thanks to the magic of YouTube you can now get an idea of how I feel at the moment.



The film review will be finished, possibly before 2011 comes.

(Update, 23rd September 2014) No it won't.

July Movies

And on...

Public Enemies: Michael Mann directing Johnny Depp as John Dillinger? Sounds like a can't miss proposition. It wasn't. Partially redeemed by the radiant Marion Cotillard and the amazing Ford Tri-Motor  plane. 

Brüno: Sacha Baron Cohen has a brilliant mind, impeccable comedic timing, and balls as big as watermelons. This time around Cohen set out to satirize homophobia the way he targeted racism in "Borat". The disappointing showing at the box office may have proved that hatred of gays is more prevalent than racial bias. A shame, too, as this was a hilarious film. John Waters should look upon this movie like a proud parent.

Orphan: I saw this movie only because I learned what the surprise twist ending was, and I didn't believe anyone would so something so ridiculous. I was wrong. I was really sad to realize I was the only person in the cinema who was laughing.

Next: August, and the two movies that made the biggest impression on me.